


cuphead's hangover

by an_undead_gamer_45



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 18:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15913851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_undead_gamer_45/pseuds/an_undead_gamer_45
Summary: three days have passed since the cup brothers were victorious in their battle against the devil and his lackey king dice and liberated the residents of inkwell isle from their sinister clutches. Naturally a celebration was in order to honor their newfound heros. But unfortunately after a few too many spiked drinks, the party got a bit out of hand and cuphead wakes up with no memory of last night's events, a splitting headache, and an unexpected companion





	cuphead's hangover

he rays of the sun pierced through the open window, bearing down on cuphead’s eyes causing him to stir from his slumber.

“Ugh, my aching head.” The young cup gazed as his surroundings, “wait this isn’t my room...this isn’t even my house!! WHERE AM I?!!” taking a second look cuphead took note of the deflated balloons, the discarded paper cups, and the streamers still dangling from the ceiling

“Oh right the party! I must have had too much pop and passed out” cuphead said with relief

Two days ago cuphead and his younger brother mugman had traversed the dangerous landscape of inkwell isle, fighting all of the devil’s debtors and collecting their soul contracts one by one before finally coming up against the demon himself. Instead of surrendering to him the boys decided to go in an all out fight to the finish against him for the fate of inkwell isle and were victorious, freeing the residents from his control for good and returning home heros. With their now former enemies having forgiven the brothers for beating them all senseless they believed a celebration was in order, spending the entirety of the next day partying like there was no tomorrow: playing games, eating yummy food, and generally had a good time. At least until the ribbit brothers brought out their ‘special brewed’ cream soda, after that everything was a blank but judging by the trashed landscape it must have been pretty crazy.

“Well I better find mugman and get home, elder kettle must be worried sick about us” said cuphead, hopping off the cotton candy bed and picking his trousers up from the frosted carpet. 

‘Wait just a minute here’ cuphead thought, looking around the room as the last of his post-drinking haze cleared up. ‘This is baroness von bon bon’s castle, how did I get in here? And more importantly why was I naked?’

Cuphead then hear a very feminine yawn coming from the bed behind him, slowly turning around he was met with a very unwelcoming sight

There was baroness von bon bon still in bed, the same bed that he woke up in, COMPLETELY NAKED.

Her eyes cracking open, bon bon moved to rub the remaining sleep out of her eyes before stretching her arms to her sides. Her yellow irises moving about the room before landing on cuphead who was facing the wall away from her, his porcelain face completely red from blushing.

“Well good morning to you my little cupcake.” the baroness said with a smirk.

“G-g-good m-m-morning b-b-baroness” cuphead stuttered out

“Oh come now, I told you yesterday call me bon bon. In fact after last night you can even call me your sugar momma if you want, you earned it.” she said walking directly up behind cuphead, causing the poor boy to begin shaking like a leaf.

“Is something wrong?” said bon bon, placing a hand on cuphead’s shoulder

“C-could you p-please put your c-clothes back on b-b-bon b-b-bon” cuphead replied, his eyes burning a hole into the cake walls.

“Are you sure? You were pretty intent on getting me out of my dress last-”  
“PLEASE!” Cuphead shouted, cutting her off

“Alright alright.” said the baroness, picking up her discarded dress and slipping it over her shoulders “I don’t understand why you’re acting like this, you already saw everything and more my little cupcake”

It was at that moment that everything the baroness had been saying to him registered in his brain.

Turning around to face the baroness with a look of shock “you mean that you and I….we…..”

“Several times. Your stamina is amazing by the way, but I would expect nothing less from one of the heros of inkwell” the baroness said with a smile “don’t you remember anything?”

“The last thing I recall was downing one of the ribbit brothers’ cream sodas and after that it’s just….black.” Cuphead said causing the baroness to blink several times in surprise

“Wait you thought that was soda?” said the baroness

“You mean it wasn’t?” replied cuphead

The baroness’s face began to contort in anger, “oh those two little ruffians! When I get my hands on them…..” Quickly regaining her composure the baroness turned to cuphead “cuphead, that wasn’t just cream soda, it was a mix of soda and whiskey, strong stuff.”

“I was drinking ALCOHOL?! Oh no, elder kettle is gonna kill me and mugman!” cuphead said, grabbing onto his rim in panic only to immediately let go from a sudden throbbing pain “OWIE OWIE OWIE! MY CUP HURTS!”

“It’s called a hangover dearie, it tends to happen when you drink too much” said the baroness “don’t worry, I’ll have the servants whip up some breakfast to take care of it. CHOCOLATE! CUPCAKE! GET UP WE HAVE A GUEST!” the door creaked open slightly revealing the two lackeys in question “yes mistress?” they both replied

“Your new father here is having a bit of a headache, make something to clear it up would you?”

“Of course, right away” the two treats said before scampering off

“New father?” asked cuphead.

“My underlings are not oblivious to what occurred between us last night and they won’t take to kindly to the idea that you don’t plan to wed me, so for your own safety I ask that you play along at least until we’re out of the castle” the baroness whispered to cuphead who nodded in reply.

The baroness lead cuphead out of her room through the halls of the castle, it was actually surprisingly roomy on the inside given how small it looked on the outside. The walls contracted slightly before puffing back out again, reminding cuphead that the castle itself is a living entity, with that cuphead couldn’t help but feel slightly bad since the poor thing likely had to hear him and the baroness….copulating all night.

Coming through a pair of double doors cuphead found himself in a large and exorbitant dining room, which of course was made entirely out of candy: the table and chairs were made out of cookie wafers and the plates were made out of peppermints, dangling above was a chandelier made from sugar crystals.

Cuphead let out a whistle of approval, “nice isn’t it?” said the baroness “but this is nothing compared to queen honeybottom’s place, I’d swear you could seat every single resident on inkwell isle in her dining room and still have several dozen seats left over” she said with a smile. 

Just then gumball machine waltzed in skillfully balancing a platter atop his head, coming over and kneeling down to cuphead so the platter was at the latter’s level cuphead saw that there was some sort of greenish fizzy drink in a martini glass resting a top the platter.

He turned to the baroness to ask what it was but she already knew was it was thinking “it’s a special hangover cure, I made the recipe myself. Drink up dear.”

Cuphead took the glass and simply shrugged, “bottoms up” he said, chugging the entire drink. Immediately the throbbing pain in his cup disappeared as well as the slight queasyness he had felt in his stomach. “Wowee that is so much better! I feel like a million bucks” right then cuphead’s stomach decided to interject with an audible growl.

Gumball machine stood back up “I suppose mr cuphead will want some breakfast ms bon bon?” “oh yes, tell the boys to cook some waffles with maple syrup and a dash of butter for our friend here.” bon bon replied.

Cuphead opened his mouth to say that he’d much rather eat at home until the rumbling of his stomach once again interrupted him “well, some waffles would hit the spot right about now…” 

After gumball machine left cuphead and baroness von bon bon took a seat at the table next to each other. After twiddling his thumbs for a few minutes, letting the awkward silence hang in the air cuphead spoke first “so what happened after I blacked out?” 

“Well you ended up getting pretty tipsy after your first glass, tipsy enough to challenge goopy le grande to a drinking contest. You won by the way, after that you wandered off for a few hours and I didn’t see you again until near midnight where you caught me on the way home and began babbling on about how sweet and beautiful I was” letting out a dreamy sigh “comparing my eyes to the shining lemon drops, my rosy cheeks to cherry bon bons, you have the heart of a poet cuphead. Anyways, you insisted on walking me home and on the way we began to talk, one thing led to another and I think you know the rest” said baroness as candy corn used his mouth to place the steaming hot, fresh of the iron, waffles in front of the two lovers.  
Picking up a candy fork, cuphead began to devour his share of the breakfast treat; the truth was cuphead always did find the baroness just a bit attractive when they first met despite her efforts to kill him and his brother that attraction not only lingered but it must have grown, elder kettle mentioned that sometimes drunk people are a tad too honest about their feelings.

Swallowing the last bite cuphead stood up from his seat “well it has been nice chatting with you but I really must be going, I gotta find my brother and hurry home, elder kettle might be getting worried.” 

“Oh alright. No problem” bon bon replied, slight disappointment in her voice and her eyes gazed downwards.

Cuphead only made it halfway to the door before something occurred to him, he didn’t have the slightest clue where his brother could be right now. He got so plastered that he ended up sleeping with baroness von bon bon and since the last time he saw mugman was when he was downing a glass of the same drink he was having it was safe to say that mugman could have ended up anywhere by now.

“Um bon bon. Did you by chance see where my brother got off to during the party?” he said turning around

The baroness rubbed her hand against her chin in thought “actually I don’t recall seeing him at all, then again you two were all over the place once you had downed that ‘cream soda’”

Cuphead sighed “well if he was as plastered as I was then he couldn’t have gotten too far right? I suppose I’ll just look around for him.”

Suddenly the baroness’ face lit up “ooh, would you like me to help you? With two of us we could cover more ground.”

As much as cuphead wanted to say no in order to avoid more tension, bon bon was right, a second set of eyes would help alot in terms of finding his lost brother.

Cuphead simply replied with “Alright fine you can he-EEEAP” right then the baroness hooked him with her candy cane and pulled him into a hug.

“Great, we’d better get going then my little cupcake” said the baroness with a slight squeal as she put cuphead down

“Could you please stop calling me that?”

“Nope” the baroness simply replied.

The pair pushed past the castle gates to find that they weren’t in the baroness’ candy kingdom but rather at the fairground where the shindig took place, and it wasn’t in good shape: collapsed tents, trash scattered everywhere, and party decorations littering the landscape. They could see a few individuals still passed out such as goopy le grande who was currently melted into a puddle; approaching the latter he began to stir.

“Uh, somebody get the plates on the bus that hit me? Oh hi cuphead, baroness.” said goopy as he reformed into his normal ball body.

“Hi goopy, how are you this fine morning?” asked the baroness

“Eh I’ve had better” replied goopy, turning to face cuphead “but I can’t even imagine how you feel with all that ‘soda’ you chugged down.”

“Don’t remind me, I still have a bad taste in my mouth” said cuphead “Have you seen my brother?”

 

“Mugman? Nope sorry, as far as I know I passed out after our little drinking contest. Can’t remember a thing.” goopy said shrugging

“Darn, thanks anyway” cuphead replied

“Hey before you go have you seen hilda?” goopy asked the baroness

“Unfortunately I haven-”

“I’M OVER HERE!” shouted a nasally feminine looking voice

All three of them looked up to see hilda hanging by her dress from a fence post looking rather annoyed.

“Dearest! Are you okay?!” shouted goopy  
“I’M FINE, NOW GET ME DOWN!!!” hilda shouted back

“Stand back you two I can do this.” cuphead said, raising his hand into the shape of a gun, firing three peashooter rounds at the end of hilda’s dress sending her sprawling down to earth; thankfully goopy managed to break her fall.

“Thanks cuphead” hilda said, helping to put back together her now splattered boyfriend.

“No problem I-” cuphead paused when he saw hilda’s face and began to giggle uncontrollably, Bon bon quickly followed suit with several chuckles of her own

“What? What are you two laughing at?” hilda asked

“Um darling, your face” goopy said with a cringed expression, holding up a mirror that he had pulled from seemingly nowhere

Hilda let out a shrill scream. Her face had been completely vandalized with black ink, gasser had been written across her forehead, a long handlebar mustache drawn under her nose and a set of goofy glasses circled her eyes along with fake stitches running down one cheek. All the while cuphead and bon bon’s slight giggles had evolved into full blown laughter.

“STOP IT! IT ISN’T FUNNY!” screamed hilda

“Come now hilda! You have to admit it’s a little funny” bon bon wheezed out between her guffaws

“WHO DID THIS?!! I WANT TO KNOW WHO HAS A DEATHWISH!!!” shouted hilda, jabbing out an accusatory finger with every single word.

Once the hilarity of the situation had died down cuphead noticed a signature on the underside of hilda’s chin reading ‘by beppi the clown’, which he promptly pointed out

“Oh that clown! When I see him again I’m gonna-I’m gonna….I’m gonna…” hilda trailed off and stared at bon bon for a few moments, studying her. Her face suddenly getting a huge smile 

“Oh my goodness, congratulations bon bon! It’s about time” hilda enthusiastically said, pulling the baroness into a hug  
“What are you talking about?” said the baroness, pushing the blimp girl off of her

“You finally got some! Sally and I always said you needed to get laid!” 

That commented a blush from both cuphead and the baroness, the latter of which replied “how- how do you even know about that?”

“Your afterglow! You’d have to be blind not to see it. So tell me, who’s the lucky guy? More importantly how was it?” 

“That is none of your business!” the baroness replied her face red as a cherry

“Oh come on, I want details! Size, positions, everything!” hilda said, ignoring the baroness’ clear embarrassment

“You won’t hear a darn thing! Not now not ever!” bon bon shouted at hilda

Hilda then took notice of cuphead’s pronounced blush, looking back and forth between him and the candy queen her smile grew tenfold

“Well now, I never took you for a cradle robber bon bon. Can’t say I blame you though, cuphead is pretty cute.” hilda said, making cuphead turn completely red from pure embarrassment

“I’M NOT A- wait, how old are you?” asked the baroness, slight concern beginning to cross her face

“Old enough to gamble, not old enough to drink” cuphead replied

“That still makes you at least 5 years older than him bon bon, or would you rather be called baroness von cougar?” hilda teased

The baroness began to grit her teeth in anger, there’s two things that really set her off: losing and being called names. Just as she was about to get into a shouting match with the observatory’s caretaker a series of loud squeaks gained everyone’s attention.

It was beppi who unsuccessfully tried to sneak past the group, mainly hilda, but his loud clown squeaky shoes gave him away. “Hello chums.” he weakly squeaked out in response to hilda’s death glare.  
“YOU! YOU ARE A DEAD CLOWN BEPPI” hilda growled almost demonically

The prankster took off like the devil himself was chasing him, hilda turning into her sagittarius form and firing arrows at the poor clown, with goopy le grande bouncing after the two desperately trying to convince his partner not to break every funny bone in beppi’s body.

“Should we do something?” asked cuphead only to be waved off by the baroness

“I’m sure he’ll be fine, besides you do not want to go up against hilda when she’s that angry. She was going easy on you when you two met.” 

Cuphead gulped, if that was easy he didn’t want to know what it would be like if she was really trying to hurt someone.

“Well we better get back to searchin, somebody had to have seen mugman at some point last night” cuphead remarked

 

Wandering through the remnants of last night cuphead and the baroness searched for any trace of mugman, calling out his name in hopes of a reply but for hours their efforts proved fruitless. They did find wally warbles (still missing his feathers) and dr.kahl (wearing a rainbow colored clown wig) but they both proved to be extremely heavy sleepers and neither cuphead nor baroness von bon bon could wake them from their slumbers. Right as cuphead was about to blast them in the face with a charge blast out of desperation he heard a boston accent call out to him

“Ey yo! Cuphead!”

Turning around he saw ribby and croaks approaching them, cuphead frowning at them. It was all their fault he was in such a predicament in the first place.

“Good to see ya up an at em’ again, how’s our little slugger doin?” ribby said, playfully bopping cuphead on the arm.

“I would be doing a lot better if a pair of brothers hadn’t tricked me into getting plastered last night” cuphead spat

“Aw c’mon, we thought ya knew.” croaks said “sides, ya should be proud o yerself! Never knew ya had such a good handle on your liquor, especially with it being yer first time an all.”

“Yes well thanks to you two cuphead not only woke up with one of the worst headaches he’s ever felt but he’s also lost track of mugman.” baroness von bon bon snapped back

“Okay first stop blamin us, we didn’t force him ta drink. He did that on his own. Secondly, we saw where mugman went.” croak replied

“You do? Tell me!” cuphead shouted

“Well we don’t know where he is now.” ribby began, “but we did see him head off towards the flower fields with cagney, grim, and briney beard. All of em’ plastered.” croaks finished

Cuphead turned to the baroness “I guess we’re going to the flower field then”

“Hey by the way, nice job on scoring with the baroness here. She is a fine piece o-” the brothers didn’t even get to finish their sentence before they were looking down the barrel of the baroness’ candy cane shotgun

“DON’T.FINISH.THAT.SENTENCE.” bon bon said through gritted teeth

“Well I-I-I wouldn’t think o it!” croaks replied before looking at cuphead “ya sure know how to pick em eh?”

Looking up at the baroness cuphead noticed something a bit strange, with her standing above him, an angry yet determined look on her face, the gun pressed against her arm baroness von bon bon was radiating a sort of attractive aura about her that made him feel warm and fuzzy in the center of his chest. The cocking of the shotgun quickly snapping out of it he began tugging on the baroness’ dress.

“Bon bon, as much as I would like to see these two get blasted in the face we still have to find mugman, remember?” bon bon simply sighed in response “oh alright cupcake, but only because I love you. And you…” she said turning around “I’ll deal with you two later” the frogs both gulped.

Moving over the pass to inkwell isle one, cuphead figured that if he was gonna be stuck with the baroness for the day he might as well make small talk. After all elder kettle always told him to be polite and gentlemanly to women.

“So um bon bon, what’s your story?” cuphead asked

“What do you mean?” replied the baroness

“What was your childhood like, how you got to be baroness and how you got involved with the d-” cuphead tried to catch himself on that last word but it was too late as the baroness suddenly stopped mid stride

“Oh geez. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-” cuphead began only for the baroness to wave him off

“It’s fine, he’s nothing more than a bad memory now. I don’t mind sharing” the baroness cleared her throat “it all started when my mother bubblegum and my father taffy got a bouncing baby girl from the stork” 

They went on like that for a while, getting to know each other better. The baroness talked about how her family built all of candyland from the ground up along with all of it’s peoples, with the baroness taking over once her mom and pop got too old to rule and creating the candy servants she has today. But in terms of her debt, she signed a contract to receive her living castle not realizing it would have cost her immortal soul, once she did the baroness chose to essentially barricade herself inside the castle and hope the devil forgot about her, at least until the cup brothers came and ripped the soul contract away from her. Cuphead discussed how he had lived in the nice part of the woods with elder kettle his whole life, mugman being delivered by stork when he was four years old and since then he had always tried to protect his little brother from any type of harm; the incident with the devil was the closest he ever came to failing his job as the older brother and he wasn’t ready to let it happen again. The more they discussed their personal lives from how bon bon learned how to take her head off to how cuphead gained a taste for adventure. With each passing sentence the warm feelings in the pits of their chests grew and grew.

“And then I said to him ‘golly, I didn’t know it was flamabl-’ oh look we’re here.” said cuphead, finding themselves in the flower field but cagney carnation was nowhere to be seen.

“Strange, cagney isn’t known to leave his field unattended like this even after a wild party.” the baroness said, only to be interrupted by a loud groan.

The duo circled the tree and found the flower in question currently sitting up with his back against the trunk, a nauseous look on his face, with the blind ghost hovering above him with a watering can in hand. Trying to wetten his petals with said tool

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop drinking cagney, you know your roots can’t handle it.” the ghost said as if he was scolding a child

“I know I know, I’ll steer clear of the punch bowl next time” groaned cagney.

“That’s what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that.” right then the watering can ran dry and blind ghost turned around only to come face to face with cuphead and baroness von bon bon. 

“Mr.cuphead, ms bon bon.” the ghost said politely as he simply phased through them sending a chill up their spines from the contact

“I hate it when he does that” said the baroness

“Does he do that often?” asked cuphead, still trying to get the freezing sensation out

“Much more than any of us would like.”

The spectre soon returned with a full can of water and resumed pouring it on top of cagney’s petals who let out a sigh of relief.

“Ah, nothing some fresh cold river water to sooth my aching stem.” cagney moaned out

“Cagney can I ask you something?” cuphead said

The plant man looked over finally noticing one of inkwell’s dynamic duo and the queen of all candies next to him.

“Hello cuphead, hello bon bon, when did you get here?”

“Not to long ago, listen have you seen mugman? We can’t find him anywhere.”

“Mugman, mugman, let me think….oh yeah now it’s comin back to me. Grim, brineybeard, mugman, and I had all wandered here during the party completely pickled when your brother came up with the idea to eat some of the giggling poppies, I know what you’re gonna say ‘doesn’t that make people act all whacky’ but it seemed like a good idea at the time. We froliced through the fields like little girls for awhile before I fell down and your brother rode off with briney beard on grim’s back towards the mountains.” cagney explained, clearly trying his hardest to recall the events of last night

“Off to the mountains dear. Come on now” bon bon said beckoning cuphead to follow her

“Aw ain’t that sweet.” cagney swooned with blind ghost nodding in approval “indeed, they do make a cute couple”

Cuphead blushed once more “Gee is it ‘embarrass cuphead day’ today and nobody felt like telling me?” 

“Aw don’t be like that squirt, we’re happy for you. Aren’t we BG?” cagney replied

Cuphead left before those two could have a laugh at his expense any further, but as he was catching up to the baroness he couldn’t help but wonder; would it really be that bad to have her as his girlfriend? She wasn’t THAT much older than him and she seemed to be pretty sweet.

He was taken out of his thoughts when the baroness used her candy cane to stop him from going any further, she was pointing at the sky and when cuphead’s gaze followed her finger it landed upon a large pillar of smoke rising from inkwell’s junkyard just over the mountain pass.

“How much are you willing to wager that grim is over there?” said bon bon

“Sorry bon bon but my gambling days are over after what happened at that casino” cuphead replied

The two of them stopped for a quick moment, nobody wanted to bring up that godforsaken place; the wounds were still too fresh.

Quickly taking the opportunity to change the subject cuphead said “but yes, I’d say there’s a good chance that’s where grim laid down for a nap, we should get going.”  
“Yes we should” said the baroness, clearly wanting to dissolve the tension that had built up in the air.

Not wanting to have to hoof it all the way across the mountain range cuphead brought around his biplane to simply fly over, unfortunately since there was only one seat the baroness was forced to hang by a rope from under the plane. While the flight wasn’t pleasant it was over very quickly as they soon found themselves in the urban area of inkwell island within minutes. Dropping off the baroness first cuphead looped back around and made a flawless landing

“You are quite the pilot my little cupcake” 

“Yeah well when you have to perform a buncha aerial acrobatics just to keep yourself alive in a hail storm of laughter, feathers, magic missiles, laser beams, fish, and electric blasts you tend to become a pretty good pilot pretty fast” cuphead responded with a bit of a braggart tone

The baroness merely smiled in response, how he was just adorable when he was acting all confident and heroic. As much as she would love to just hug him to her chest like a teddy bear and cuddle him all day they had more important matters to attend to. They began wandering through the maze of scrap and garbage, using one hand each to plug their noses so as to not inhale the horrid odors surrounding them, using the large pillar of black smoke as a beacon of sorts. Coming into a large clearing they found two things: several bits of what used to be cars that were now either scorched or blasted apart, and a large pile of glass mugs with a lime green snout sticking out of one end emanating smoke out of it’s nostrils.

Not having the patience to dig through the entire mound until he hit scales and then politely wake up the timid lizard, cuphead opted to stick his fingers inside both of grim’s nasal cavities and held them there until it began to jerk around as gasp for breath. Finally the mug mountain gave way to an even larger dragon who was trying to get his bearings while sputtering

“W-w-what’s going on?! I-i-is the castle on fire again” his scattered attention was quickly drawn into a single spot by cuphead snapping his fingers

“Rise and shine grim.” cuphead said

“O-o-oh hello cuphead n-n-nice to see you. A-A-And I see that the baroness is with you H-H-Hello” 

“Nice to see you too grim, listen cagney told us that you flew over here with mugman and briney beard last night. Are they still with you now?” bon bon asked the bashful dragon

“N-n-no sorry, oh I feel just a-a-awful about last night. I-I-I’m not a drinker by nature, i-i-it makes me do bad stuff. L-L-Like when mugman and I blew up those c-c-cars for target practice, d-d-dr.kahl could have used those for s-s-spare parts.” grim replied, tearing up slightly

“Easy now it’s okay, we all make mistakes when we get jagged grim. Now tell us, what happened after that.” cuphead, knowing that if the dragon started bawling then they may never find out what happened to cuphead

Drying his eyes grim continued “w-w-well after a few sips of b-b-brineybeard’s grog that he brought along I-I-I laid down for a n-n-nap, the last thing I saw was m-m-mugman and brineybeard heading towards the d-d-docks. Brineybeard said s-s-something about a j-j-joyride.”

Cuphead’s eyes widened, he knew exactly what brineybeard meant when he said that. Brineybeard’s pride and joy was his ship and it was no secret that he liked to show it off from time to time, even cuphead knew about this when he saw the captain weaving in between the rocks just off the coast from where his house was, he also knew that there had been a sea storm brewing off the coast of inkwell isle for a while now that elder kettle had warned him about that was scheduled to strike last night. If brineybeard dragged mugman onto his ship with a bee in his bonnet during a large storm….no, he couldn’t and wouldn’t consider the fact that his brother had been seriously hurt.

Without so much as a goodbye cuphead ran out of the junkyard towards the docks, completely ignoring both grim and the baroness’s comments as he pushed past them, mugman’s bloated corpse floating in the water had forced itself to the forefront of his mind.

‘No don’t think like that’ cuphead thought to himself, quickly dispelling the image ‘mugman’s okay, he has to be, we beat the devil for god’s sake surely he could survive a small downpour’ cuphead’s pace quickened ‘but he’s always been weaker and more skittish, cracking under pressure. That’s why I’ve tried so hard to protect him, I can’t fail again.’ soon cuphead was essentially sprinting towards the docks in the hopes of locating his brother alive and well. 

Coming up on the dock he came upon an interesting picture: it was brineybeard’s ship with a sickly expression on it’s face being hoisted out of the water by a series of pulleys, a large jagged hole stretched across its side, and the captain himself trying to mend it with a series of wooden planks. Yet mugman was nowhere to be found. 

Running on pure rage cuphead stormed over to the old sea dog and slapped the tools out of his hands before grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt and shouted “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” 

“What in the- have ye lost yer mind boy?!” brineybeard said, trying to pull the cup away from him

“YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED MY BROTHER” all rational thought was gone from cuphead’s mind, his entire focus was placed on hurting the man in front of him.

The captain in question suddenly had a look of realization upon his face, finally pulling the boy off of him and clamping down his arms at his sides, watching him squirm helplessly in his grip. 

“LET ME GO! LET ME GO!” cuphead shouted.

“Avast ye cup! Mugman hasn’t sunken to davy jones’ locker!” this caused cuphead to immediately stop struggling and clear his head

“He-he’s not?” said cuphead with a look of relief

“Aye, see there I was with yer matey mugman. I’d thought it’d be a jolly good time if we took the old man-o-war out for a midnight sail, of course I’d forgotten dear neptune had sent a curse on us that night with the storm he’d been brewing. I told yer brother to batten down the hatches and hold on. It was a horrible storm and with my wits havin forsaken me it was difficult to navigate the monsoon. The ship was being swung about in every conceivable direction, your brother being tossed around like a doll before one large wave washed over the deck knocking him off. I abandoned the helm to save the poor lad” he paused for a moment and cuphead leaned in, the suspense eating away at him “only to find him safe in the sea hag’s arms, she carried him off to safety leaving old brineybeard to brave the storm alone. You can see that didn’t turn out to well” said brineybeard motioning to his banged up ship. “Last time I go out sailing loaded to the gunwall”

Cuphead said down on the dock letting out a breath of relief, cala maria had saved mugman. He was probably still with her now. Letting out a slight chuckle he couldn’t believe he was so worried, after all it takes more that a storm to get rid of these two brothers. Looking back at the captain cuphead’s earlier actions finally sunk in

“Um, brineybeard. Sorry about before, trying to kill you and all that I was just-” only to be interrupted by the old salt “it be alright lad, t’was me in the same situation I would have acted the same. Besides I owe ye both a debt of gratitude from rescuing me from that demon’s clutches.”

“CUPHEAD!” the baroness shouted. Running up to the two, clearly out of breath “what was that all about? You just took off without so much as a word, grim thought it was his fault and started crying! Do you know how long it took me to calm him down?!” the baroness kept ranting and raving about how rude cuphead had been. But he wasn’t listening to a word she said, standing in front of him with a sheen of sweat covering her skin, the sunlight hitting her at just the right angle emphasized the curves on her body. Cuphead couldn’t look away from the body of the goddess that was standing in front of him. Without warning he took the baroness face in his hand and planted a long firm kiss right on top of her lips, cutting her off mid sentence, unsurprisingly she tasted like a mix of cotton candy and cherry soda. At first bon bon resisted, trying to pull away until she finally melted into the kiss. Out of the corner of his eye cuphead could see that brineybeard was pretending to continue working on his ship but he was still clearly watching the two love birds with a smile. After what felt like hours the two broke off, panting slightly.

“Mmm, that was….nice” the baroness said with a bit of a moan

“Yeah, it kinda was.” cuphead added in, blushing. But his thoughts told a different story ‘oh why did I do that? We hardly know each other, sure we talked a bit earlier but that doesn’t count. Sure she looked beautiful in that light, and her lips were so soft, and she was such a good k- NO FOCUS CUPHEAD. That- that was just to get her to stop talking yeah!’ 

“Aye it warms me heart to see two young people so in love” brineybeard said with a chuckle

“Oh we’re not-”

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s beautiful what you two have” brineybeard said interrupting the two

Bon bon and cuphead quickly left the captain to his work walking down the beach, their faces now stuck in a permanent shade of red. Bon bon was the first to break the silence

“So why in the world did you run off like that anyways?”

“Oh well, elder kettle said there was supposed to be a sea storm that happened last night and when grim told me that brineybeard had taken my brother out for a sail. I put two and two together and assumed the worst” cuphead said

“Oh my, with a drunken captain at the wheel it couldn’t have been good for anyone.”

“Well yeah, but luckily according to brineybeard cala maria had managed to save mugman from the storm which means” 

“That she still has him to ensure that he doesn’t put himself in any more danger.” bon bon finished

“Exactly, honestly I just couldn’t stand the idea that I might have lost my brother, we’ve been together almost our whole lives.” he looked downwards towards the stand “honestly that’s what really scares me, losing mugman”

He suddenly stopped and focused his view on the horizon. “Bon bon can you keep a secret?” his voice taking a serious tone and sitting down in the sand

“Of course”

“My greatest fear is that one day I’ll fail my job as an older brother and as a result, mugman will die” cuphead said as he began tracing circles in the sand “Ever since the stork delivered him when I was four years old he’s always been a bit fragile, his head cracked much easier than mine and he was always so much more innocent. At first I didn’t think much of it, always trying to drag him out on adventures and such until one day when I was 12 and he was 8 we were out climbing trees in the forest and he fell off cracking his mug, when I got closer I noticed he wasn’t moving at all. I rushed him home and luckily with a bit of glue elder kettle was able to put him back together, I got grounded a week for that” cuphead said with a chuckle. “But I also realised just how much mugman meant to me and how easy it was for him to get seriously hurt. Since then I’ve done everything I can to keep him safe. That dumb bet with the devil was the closest I came to failing that job and to be honest, at the time I was seriously considering sacrificing myself to the devil just so mugman could get away.” bon bon let out a small gasp “I know right? I don’t care what happens to me, I’m tough I can take what life throws at me but mugman, he’s too soft and would crack within a day.” he let out a sniff “I have no idea why I’m telling this to you of all people though.” 

The baroness took a seat beside him “well you’ve been having a pretty eventful day, maybe you just needed to get something like that off your chest to keep yourself going. I must say though, what you’re doing as a brother is fairly noble of you and I respect that.” 

Cuphead smiled back and a thought crossed his mind “ya know since cala maria is keeping mughead safe, what’s say you and I swing around one of the downtown diners and grab a quick lunch, I am feelin a bit peckish?” 

“Like a date?” the baroness said, bits of hope in her eyes

“No,no, no. just two friends getting lunch!”

the hope was quickly fizzled out after that comment “Oh, well I suppose since we have the time” 

With that the two departed from the beach and headed into downtown inkwell, the party seemingly had not spread this far as it looked pretty much how it typically looks except with much fewer folks out and about. Cuphead wasn’t complaining though, the last thing he needed right now was to get into the middle of another loud crowd.

“And then I said, wait is that? OH MY GOLLY GOSH, HI CUPHEAD HI BON BON. OVER HERE!” cuphead followed the sound of sally stageplay and her husband sitting at the table of an outdoor cafe enjoying a lunch of their own.

“Afternoon sally, how are you feeling?” asked the baroness

“Well after I got passed the migraines from last night I’ve been having a swell day. But clearly not as swell as you eh? Sally said with a wink, nuding the baroness’ arm

“What are you-oh. Let me guess, you heard it from hilda?” 

“Yup, congrats on finally getting some! Maybe now you won’t be so uptight.” 

The baroness’s face immediately scrunched up in anger “What did you just call me?!”

“Huh guess not, well was it at least good for you cuphead?” said sally, turning to the boy in question

“I don’t want to answer that.” cuphead replied with a slight blush

“Feh, killjoy. Well at least let me treat inkwell’s newest couple to lunch, OH WAITER two more menus please. Have a seat you two” said sally

Not one to pass up a free lunch the baroness and cuphead took a seat across from the best actors of inkwell isle. Cuphead opting for a simple chicken club sandwich while the baroness ordered an entire cherry pie for herself.

“Cuphead, I honestly can not express how grateful I am for what you did for me, hell for all of us. Even after we all tried to kill you and your brother you still decided to save us from the devil.” sally said

“It’s no problem, like elder kettle always says ‘everyone deserves a second chance’ and I wasn’t about to become a demonic slave to that jerk.” a thought popped into cuphead’s mind “hey, what happened to him after we burned all those contracts anyways?”

Sally look back up from her tea at cuphead “I’m not exactly sure, all I know is that he up and vanished.” quickly taking a lady like sip of her drink “I heard from blind ghost that the entire casino had been swallowed up by inkwell hell, all he could find was a note from king dice saying that the casino was closed permanently and him and the devil were going to look for, and I quote, ‘fresh shores with new suckers to swindle out of their souls’” 

“Well at least they won’t be bothering any of us anymore. Though I do pity the residents of wherever they ended up” added the baroness as their dishes arrived

“Eh, I wouldn’t think about it. As far as I’m concerned those two aren’t my problem.” said cuphead

“I suppose you're right”

After that their lunch discussions devolved into much more lighthearted topics about their own personal lives, mainly sally’s and the baroness’; sally stageplay’s career would really take off now that she doesn’t have to hide out in her beloved theatre anymore and could expand into new venues. Bon bon could start back up her candy making business (cuphead asked if that counted as cannibalism in her case and bon bon took the time to explain the difference between living and regular candies to him). Oddly enough sally’s husband didn’t say so much as a word during the entire conversation, only smiling and nodding whenever sally made a point; cuphead was also similarly cut out of the conversation between the two ladies and just sat quietly enjoying his meal, catching bits and pieces of their discussion in between. What really got his attention was when sally said:  
“Well I still think you two are perfect for each other”

“How so?”

‘Well years of acting has gifted me with the amazing ability to get the personality from someone off expressions alone; I can tell you’re both hot headed, brash, prideful, and always looking for trouble, but you are also both kind to your friends and more than willing to put your safety on the line to protect the ones you really care about and tend to do the right thing even if the way you do it is a tad unorthodox” sally stated matter-of-factly

Cuphead wanted to object but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that that pretty much summed him up as a whole and if what sally said was true about the baroness maybe they were good with each other.

Abruptly pushing away from the table the baroness said “well as much as I would love to continue our debate on whether gum or taffy is the better chewable ms stageplay, cuphead and I really must be going. We have to pick up mugman from cala maria” and with that she took cuphead by the arm and lead him away from the cafe while the actress in questioned waved goodbye

“See ya round bon bon, tell maria I said hello!” 

The two of them headed off towards the cove where cala maria lived, odds were if she was gonna take mugman anywhere to keep him safe it would be there. After a precarious climb down the rocky cliff they landed on a long stretching sandbank that went around the nearby cliffside, Bon bon took the lead and the minute she went around the cliff face her eyes widened and a smile broke out across her face followed by an “awww”

“What? What is it?” cuphead said, pushing past the baroness.

It was there he saw cala maria sitting atop one of the rocks sticking out of the ocean, rocking her arms back and forth soothingly like one would with an infant child that need to get to sleep, and cradled in her arms, sucking his thumb like a baby, sleeping the day away, was none other than cuphead’s lost brother mugman, safe and sound. The baroness was right, the current scene was adorable

Cala maria looked up to see the paid and made a shushing motion with one of her arms, keeping mugman in the other. 

“Give him here, I’ll wake him up” said cuphead.

Cala maria lowered mugman down to his brother, the latter gently grabbed the former by his mug handle and popped his head off, much to the confusion of the two ladies.

“Don’t ask, this is just something me and my brother could always do” cuphead said

He sat on his knees and whispered to mugman “oh muggy, muggy, wakey wakey” the mug began to stir “uh huh? Where am I”. without any sort of warning cuphead dunked mugman’s head into the cold salty sea water and shouted “UP AND AT EM GOLDILOCKS! WE GOTTA GET HOME!”. After a few seconds he pulled mugman back to the surface, sputtering and hacking up seawater. 

“AH CUPHEAD! YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!!!” Shouted mugman, clearly not happy after the rude awakening.

“Yeah well you had to get up, we’ve been looking for you all day muggy” cuphead replied, snapping his brother’s head back onto his body

“We?” asked mugman, who looked over his shoulder to see baroness von bon bon waving at him. “Oh hi ms. bon bon!”

“Hello mugman”

Gazing around at his surroundings mugman grew confused “hang on, this doesn’t look like the funfair field.” placing a hand to his mug “and why does my head hurt? Cuphead what happened last night, all I can remember was drinking some cream soda from the ribbit brothers”

“Look I’ll fill you in later, right now we gotta get home. Elder kettle must be tearing the place apart looking for us” said cuphead, trying to get his brother to move

“What are you talking about it’s only…..oh dear” mugman’s face immediately went white when he pulled out the pocket watch he had gotten for his 10th birthday and saw it was already the early afternoon. “Oh no. OH NO! WE’RE GONNA GET GROUNDED FOR THIS! I DON’T WANNA GET GROUNDED AGAIN! WHAT ARE WE GONNA-” cuphead quickly put a finger to his brother’s lips

“Muggy, don’t worry about it. Just let me do all the talking.”

“Well now that we’ve cleared that up, how about I give you all a ride home on my back. It’ll be much quicker than walking all the way.” said cala maria

Mugman spun around and immediately became flustered when he saw cala maria floating there “o-o-oh hi c-c-ala maria. What are you doing here?”

“Well I live here and I brought you by after I saved you from that horrible sea storm.” the mermaid replied

“SEA STORM?! CUPHEAD!” mugman shouted

“I said I’ll tell you later!” 

With that our three protagonists climbed aboard the sea mistress and road her all the way to the other end of inkwell isle where she gently place them down just a short distance away from the boy’s home, saying her goodbyes she swam off. Noticing his brother’s blush cuphead decided that he would be the one doing the teasing for a change and said “you like her don’t you mugman?”

“W-w-well yeah, s-s-she’s our friend now” mugman lied

“No, I mean as more than a friend” cuphead smirked

“W-w-what! N-n-no I don’t!” mugman shot back

“Sure, whatever you say. Last one home is a leaky cup!” said cuphead, pretending to get ready to run off.

Mugman immediately took off without his brother towards home, “there that should keep him busy for now” he turned towards the baroness.

“So baroness….about last night”

“Forget about it, I understand. You weren’t in the right state of mind at the time and clearly you made an idiotic decision. I’ll just leave” said the baroness, trying to hide the tears in her eyes

“No it’s not that! I was gonna say it was actually kinda nice spending the day with you, talking and all that.” cuphead said “and I was wondering if maybe tomorrow you might like to accompany me for a picnic at this great spot in the woods mugman and I like to go to. Maybe get to know you a bit more.”

The baroness smiled at cuphead “I think I’d like that very much” she leaned down and kissed the top of cuphead’s rim causing his straw to shoot straight up

“See you later my cupcake” said the baroness as she walked off

Cuphead smiled and turned around only to see his brother standing behind him with a cheshire grin.

“Not. one. Word.” cuphead said

After that the boys headed home and cuphead quickly cooked up an explanation to elder kettle about where they were, luckily them being regarded as heroes had put elder kettle in a good mood and he let the boys off with a simple warning. When mugman, however, was informed of his little escapade last night he was completely mortified.  
Thankfully though everything turned out a-okay for everyone despite the party getting a little out of control, yep definitely no loose ends left to tie up, this is a happy ending

 

Well except for this part: the baroness returned home to her castle later that day with a smile on her face and why wouldn’t she, she was on the road to getting a cute boyfriend who loved her for who she was. After assuring her servants that she was alright and cuphead would return at some point once he broke the news to his family (this wasn’t true of course) she retired back to her room which had been cleaned and pressed by the candy corn, regality had it’s advantages. Slipping out of her dress into some more casual wear, she lied down on her bed and swooned 

“He loves me, cuphead loves me”

All of a sudden the telephone on her dressed began to ring

“Hello” the baroness said answering it

“Hello, is baroness von bon bon there” an old raspy voice said on the other end

“Speaking. May I inquire as to whom is calling?”

“Oh well this is the stork’s office and let me be the first to congratulate you, you’ve got a newborn baby on the way!”

The baroness froze, how could this be possible? The only person she engaged in such activities with was….oh dear.

“Now we are still in the process of making it and the delivery is scheduled to arrive in 9 to 10 months. If you wish you can opt to be notified of the baby’s gender in roughly 4 months time, do you want that? Hello? Baroness von bon bon?” but she wasn’t listening, she had her head buried in her hands. At this point she didn’t know what was scarier: the fact that she was going to be a mother soon or the prospect of explaining to cuphead how he’s going to be a father at such a young age.

Looking out in the direction of inkwell isle one she calmed down

‘It’s alright, if he can beat the devil he can handle being a father.’ the baroness thought to herself.

The casino was gone sure, but the cup brother’s problems were far from over and the next few months will be an interesting experience for everyone.


End file.
